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Relationship Tip #3 – Repairing and Exiting Arguments

All couples will probably argue at some time but happy couples know how to exit the argument before it gets completely out of control and too much damage is done or they try to repair the situation quickly.

If an argument is getting too heated, it’s Ok to take a 20 min break. Acknowledge you are getting too upset/annoyed and ask for time to calm down. In that break do things to calm yourself down, breath, walk around the block, or distract yourself somehow. When calmer try to understand what was upsetting you so much about the interaction? It is important to go back to the discussion and try to listen more and be less defensive or critical.

At times a bit of humour can go a long way, acknowledging how your partner is feeling, eg. , “I understand this is difficult for you”, and choosing our fights and be willing to yield or let it go sometimes.

Helpful repair attempts afterwards can include: acknowledging our contribution to the argument, “Sorry I really overreacted then”, offering signs of appreciation to let your partner know that even though you disagree about something you still care, and a hug or smile can do wonders!

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