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Raise issues “softly”. Discussions invariably end on the same note they begin with. If you start harshly by attacking or criticising your partner verbally it will usually escalate and make the conflict bigger. They will instantly be in ‘fight or flight ‘ mode.

It’s ok in a relationship to have complaints but how do we begin those discussion in a way so the other person is more likely to listen rather than get defensive.

If either of you are getting too upset, take a break, calm down, and then come back together to talk again. You may not come up with the solution the first time but the aim is to understand each other better which will help you work together on the issue.

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